A STRANGER IN THE NOISE

Have you ever come back home after years of living somewhere else and suddenly felt like… a stranger?

It’s strange. This is the place I grew up in. My roots, my language, my people. But walking through the same streets, hearing the same sounds, and seeing familiar places again, it all feels different now. Not in a bad way. Just… unfamiliar. Like I’m back in a movie I used to be part of, but I don’t recognize the scenes anymore.

After spending years in a country where I found a kind of freedom I didn’t know I needed, I grew into someone I never expected to become. I adapted to a different culture and worked with people who didn’t know me at all but treated me with genuine kindness and respect. I found community in strangers, laughter in random encounters, and peace in simple moments. For a while, it felt like I belonged in a place that technically wasn’t mine, and that feeling was enough to keep me going.

Now, being back here… It’s like stepping into an old pair of shoes that don’t quite fit the same anymore. I’ve only been home a few days, and already I’ve noticed so much. The energy, the behavior, even the fashion, people move differently now. They talk with more expression, they dress with more boldness, and everything just feels louder, not only in sound, but in presence.

I visited Starbucks the other day, two different ones, actually. Centris and the new branch in Antipolo. I ordered my usual White Chocolate Mocha Venti, put on my AirPods, and opened my Mac to write. But instead of finding comfort in the space, I found myself overwhelmed. It felt like a marketplace more than a café. Voices overlapped, chairs shuffled endlessly, and the air buzzed with a kind of chaos I wasn’t used to anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t bad. It was just… a lot. Maybe it’s the adjustment. Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s both.

Despite the noise, something is grounding about hearing my native language again. There’s a familiarity in the way people talk, laugh, and even complain. And yet, there’s this subtle disconnect I can’t quite shake off, like I’m here, physically, but emotionally still floating somewhere in between where I came from and where I just left.

I used to think I knew this place. But now, it feels like I’m getting to know it all over again.

That’s the thing about being away for too long. You grow. You adapt. And then when you return, it’s not just the place that’s changed; it’s you.

So here I am, sitting with my coffee, trying to make sense of all the feelings. Watching people live their lives while I quietly try to reconnect with mine. It’s not easy to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but I know I’m not the only one who’s ever felt this way. That quiet in-between space of not fully belonging here nor there, but still choosing to hold space for both.

This isn’t about choosing one life over another. It’s just a glimpse into the mind of someone who left, lived, learned, and came back, only to realize home isn’t always a place. Sometimes it’s a version of you you’re still trying to find again.

So if you’ve ever felt this kind of noise, not

just around you, but inside, I see you.

And maybe, slowly, we’ll learn to dance to this new rhythm too.

1. Starbucks Eton Centris
2. Starbucks 11 Sumulong Highway Antipolo